Spirit Lifter

Travelling is part of my job requirement few years ago; I don’t really mind the high frequency of travel. In-fact, I treat it as a free runaway trip from reality. During the freight, I will have a glass of wine and a good story book accompany by friendly smile from air hostess. Hey! What more would I demand as an employee during office hour.
Oh Yah! Almost have forgotten; I can also switch off my cell phone officially and becomes UNTOUCHABLE ---- Oh man! isn’t that great ?

But, this time is different despite the usual last minute notice. Tomorrow is my eight years old daughter’s birthday party. This is her first birthday party which I have promised since her memory begins. She has not stop talking about it since the day I have decided. For me, I just can’t wait to see her delightful happiness radiating like a little fairy during the party. Looking at her, I know that whatever words come out from my mouth right now will be simply excuses to her. I am totally speechless that night before I leave home for airport. I apologize for not able to describe her at that particular moment because this is one thing which I would not like it to surface in my mind during my lifetime.

In the airport, I desperately look for some interestingly fresh event in order to overwrite the recent unwanted memory. I have a good meal all by myself, a good drink in the transit area all by myself, looking at pretty girls passing by all by myself, cigarette one after another all by myself. The passionately stubborn feeling still surrounds me with the company of nicotine odour from my apparel. Habitually I put my hand into the hand carrier searching for my usual story book, Oh shit ! book! where is my book ? I have forgotten it.

No, I will go insane or turn into werewolf before next touch down which is almost twenty hours from now. Ten minutes before last call, I run quickly to the nearest bookshop and pick up a thin volume of my trusted author Jeffery Archer, A Prison Diary, Volume 1 HELL. Then I check in.

In the cabin, I aimlessly flipping the pages while my mind is fighting it’s own battle. Until the lines from the Invictus gradually becomes the officer in command for me, my mind and my passionately stubborn feeling. For nearly an hour, I continually reciting the Invictus in my mind until I regain control of the entire army of myself.

Thanks to the Invictus to give me such a lift when I am falling.


INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I think whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced or cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this places of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

William Ernest Henley (1849 – 1903)

A Poem

Nivana or Nibbana is an important word in Buddhism. It is also the transiting word for prince Siddhartha to become Buddha. During the last two thousand years, many words is used to materialize it. Realization is one of the many words to associate with the supreme goal of Buddhist. During my course of Buddhist study, I have came across two types of realization. The sudden realization and gradual realization. Sudden realization point directly to the objective without any clear path to move along. Zen Buddhism is viewed as one of this school of thought. Two short stories will show the natures of sudden realization.

Twirling a Flower with a Smile
During Buddha's preaching at Holy Vulture Peak, he holds a flower in his hand and smile through out the entire session without a single word from his mouth. Suddenly he said,"we have came to the end of today's session, do you all understand my topic for today." Everyone unable to understand because there is no word deliver from Buddha's mouth that day. While everyone remain silent for further elaboration, Buddha's senior disciple Mahakasyapa said,"I have understood." Buddha said,"very well Mahakasyapa, that will end today's session." Without any further words Buddha walks away to end the session.

Second story is extracted from the book "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche.

The introduction of "Nature of Mind" is done to the author at the age of nine by his master. At that day, master is chanting while the author is sitting right in front. Suddenly his master throw him a question with no answer "What is Mind" and gazed intently deep into author's eye, author is taken totally by surprise, his mind shattered, no words, no names no thought remained --- no mind in fact, at all. At that astounding moment, his past thoughts has died aways, future has not yet arisen, the stream of his thoughts was cut right through. In that pure shock a gap opened and that gap was laid bare a sheer, immediate awareness of the present, one that was free of any clinging. it was simple, naked and fundamental. And yet that naked simplicity was also radiant with the warmth of an immense compassion

Wind And Odour
In the East, there is a rubbish dump
In the West, there is a chocolate factory
In the North, there is a deep blue sea
In the South, there is a breezing forest

When I pass by East, I bring along unpleasant
When I pass by West, I bring along craving
When I pass by by North, I bring along nature
When I pass by South, I bring along freshness

I am I, the same I
odour is odour, the changing ones